Bass Fishing Forums - The Bassholes banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts
K

·
Guest
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This is priceless.

An actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his
Senator

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted
the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the
process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.
Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently
passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's
provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the
United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen
is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five
years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two
years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I
can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent
result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004
and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could
save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law
school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many
colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the
burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome
car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I
still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary
forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service
1-800-289-1040.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
17,930 Posts
My mom sent me a joke dealing with illegal aliens . Now this is a joke and if you are offended I will remove it .


Florida Drinking Rule


A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink from the same glass twice."

An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either.

The Florida girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer and drinks it, throws her glass into the air, pulls out her gun and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi, and catches her glass. She says, "In America we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.

God Bless America
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
635 Posts
I want in on that action. I want my refund check for two years mailed directly to Ranger Boats. Tell them it's my down payment on a Comanche. I'll make payments on the other half. ;)
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top